Chapter 2: Choosing Myself

Ava turned her phone camera toward Ethan.

Ethan and Sylvia were in the center of the dance floor, locked in a deep, passionate kiss. His eyes were closed, completely lost in the moment.

It hit me then—yesterday, when we slept together, we didn’t even kiss. In the heat of the moment, I had leaned in to kiss him, only for him to pull back.

"Sorry, I’m just not into kissing. It’s gross. Saliva makes me feel sick," he had said.

Like an idiot, I had believed him, yet here he was, making out with Sylvia in front of everyone without any hesitation or second thoughts.

So, it wasn’t that he didn’t like kissing. He just didn’t like kissing me.

Watching them on the phone, I felt a thousand tiny needles stab my heart, each one sharper than the last, until I could barely breathe.

Just this afternoon, Ethan had casually told Lucas he wanted to go after Sylvia, and now, just a few hours later, they were already a couple.

Classic Ethan. He always gets what he wants, no matter who he has to crush along the way.

As the dance officially started, Ethan naturally invited Sylvia for the first dance. They spun together in the center of the floor, the spotlight on them, while the onlookers around them were mesmerized by their perfect moment.

Everyone admired the scene.

Everyone except me.

As the song ended, Ethan rested his forehead against Sylvia’s, their lips barely an inch apart.

The crowd erupted into cheers, and the two leaned in for another kiss, oblivious to the world around them.

I cried until my eyes burned and my tears ran dry.

Ava’s voice cut through my misery. "Cynthia, I know this hurts. I’m only showing you this to snap you out of it. Stop following Ethan around. He’s not worth your love. You deserve a life of your own."

My throat felt raw, my voice nothing more than a whisper. "I know."

I had been so foolish, letting myself be blinded by Ethan’s fake affection for so many years, falling in love with someone who never truly cared about me.

Ava’s voice sharpened. "He’s a total jerk. He’s known how you felt all this time, soaking up your attention, keeping you on the hook like a backup plan. Look at him. The moment someone new comes along, he drops you without a second thought."

I forced a bitter smile. Everyone else had seen it clearly, while I had been trapped in my own delusion that Ethan might actually love me back.

"Don’t worry, Ava. I won’t follow him around anymore. I won’t waste another minute making myself smaller for his sake. I’ve already made up my mind. I’m withdrawing my application to Caltech and applying to MIT instead."

Before I could talk myself out of it, I opened my laptop, withdrew my Caltech application, and submitted my MIT application.

Ava beamed, clearly relieved. She had always thought applying to Caltech was a waste of my potential.

However, with his average grades, Ethan could only get into Caltech. He had once told me he didn’t want to be apart from me, that he hoped I’d choose the same school as him.

I had taken that as a sign, clinging to the idea that being with him was worth the sacrifice.

Looking back, it was clear that Ethan never wanted to be with me. He just didn’t want to lose his loyal follower, but now that he had Sylvia, I had no reason to stick to the same path.

If I still chose to follow Ethan after everything I had seen tonight, I would never be able to respect myself again.

All I wanted now was to get as far away from him as possible.

To never see him again.

I would no longer follow Ethan.

I would follow my own dreams.