Chapter 5: The Longest Goodbye

In the Arctic, I kept myself busy on purpose.

Ava and I watched the northern lights, chased whales and seals on a research ship, and packed our days with activities to keep my mind from drifting back to old memories.

Despite his demands, I definitely didn't unblock Ethan.

Regardless, Ava, who was always by my side, occasionally showed me his and Sylvia's Twitter updates. I could see they were having a great time in Switzerland.

Strangely enough, Ethan, who never used to post much, now shared something almost every day. Sometimes, it was a shot from the Aletsch Glacier, other times it was a picture from the top of St. Peter's Basilica.

Even though I was not keeping tabs on him like I used to, mutual friends still asked why I was not in these photos, or why I didn't go to Switzerland with him. After all, for years, I was the one always by his side in those shots.

I just told them I had already promised Ava I'd go on this trip.

Every mention of Ethan still hit a nerve, but I was trying not to shy away from his name. I kept telling myself that once I got past this withdrawal, I could finally move on.

It had been almost two months without a word from him—the longest we had ever gone without talking since we first met. Before, I would always be the first to make up within a few days.

Time really does heal.

As the days went by, I found myself thinking less and less about Ethan and genuinely enjoying the Arctic landscapes.

Just then, Ethan called.

"Cynthia, why did you go to the Arctic without telling me? Didn't we promise to see the northern lights together?"

He didn't seem to notice it, but there was a hint of unease in his voice. It was a tone I'd never heard from him before.

"I got my Caltech offer letter. You should have yours by now too. When you get back, I have a surprise for you to celebrate."

I resisted the urge to hang up.

"I'm not coming back. I'm going straight to school. You don't need to worry about me."

"Cynthia, how long are you going to keep this up? You blocked me, and I didn't even complain. Now I'm trying to make things right, and you still have a problem?" He snapped, his voice turning cold.

"If you don't come back, then don't ever bother looking for me again."

He hung up.

I sighed and added that number to my blocked list too. I was actually in the middle of packing. I had lied. I was planning to head back home, just without letting Ethan know.

Then, my dad called. Apparently, they'd just received a confirmation email from MIT, saying my spot was secured and the tuition fees had been paid. It was only then that they realized I had changed my college plans.

"Did you and Ethan have a fight? You didn't tell anyone before changing your application. We're not trying to control your choices, but we're just worried you might regret this later if you decide you want to be with Ethan after all."

I could tell my parents were concerned, and I didn't want to keep them in the dark anymore, so I laid it all out.

"Ethan has a girlfriend now. I need my own life, not one that just revolves around him. Besides, Ava will be with me at MIT, so I won't be alone. Ethan doesn't know about my decision yet. Please keep this between us. I don't want to see him before I leave."

They must have sensed the hurt I was holding back, so they didn't push further. They respected my wishes and promised to keep my secret.