Chapter 18: You Can't Have Her Back

Lucien found me before I could leave the Gray Harbor council grounds.

He stood beneath the old oak tree, waiting.

I stopped several steps away from him.

“You remembered,” he said.

It wasn't a question.

I looked at him calmly.

“Everything.”

His face tightened.

For a moment, I saw the young man from my memories—the boy who had once held my hand at the academy and promised me forever.

Then I remembered the man who had heard my cries for help and told me to die.

The two images overlapped.

Neither could erase the other.

“Evelyn,” he whispered.

“Don't call me that.”

His eyes reddened.

“But you are her.”

“I was.”

“She's gone.”

Lucien took a shaky breath.

“I spent seventeen years wishing for one more chance.”

“You got one.”

He looked at me hopefully.

I continued, “But that doesn't mean you get me back.”

His hope disappeared.

“I know.”

“Do you?”

I stepped closer.

“You spent ten years assuming I would always wait for you.”

“Then you spent seventeen years mourning me.”

“But neither version of your love was actually for me.”

He looked down.

“You're right.”

“I loved the woman who needed me.”

“I never learned how to love the woman who could walk away.”

For the first time, I saw no excuses in his eyes.

Only regret.

But regret couldn't rewrite the past.

“I'm not angry with you anymore,” I said.

“That's enough for me.”

He gave a bitter smile.

“It isn't enough for me.”

“It has to be.”

Silence settled between us.

Then footsteps sounded behind me.

My father appeared at the end of the path.

He had aged considerably since I had last seen him.

The moment he saw me, his eyes filled with tears.

“Evelyn.”

I didn't correct him this time.

He approached slowly.

“I heard you remembered.”

I nodded.

“Your mother wanted to come.”

“I asked her to stay home.”

I looked at him.

“Why?”

“Because I wanted to speak to you first.”

He stopped in front of me.

“I don't expect forgiveness.”

“Good.”

He swallowed.

“I only want you to know that after you died, we changed.”

“The pack changed.”

“That's good.”

He lowered his eyes.

“It isn't enough.”

I nodded.

“No.”

“It isn't.”

My father looked at me for a long moment.

“Do you hate us?”

I thought about it.

“No.”

“But I don't need you anymore.”

The words broke something in his expression.

Yet he didn't argue.

He simply nodded.

“Then I hope your new life is better than the one we gave you.”

I smiled faintly.

“It is.”

He turned to leave.

Then he stopped.

“There is one more thing.”

He pulled a small wooden box from his coat.

“We found this among your belongings.”

He opened it.

Inside was the original academy registration certificate.

My name was written beside Lucien's.

The document that had once represented my greatest happiness now looked like nothing more than an old piece of paper.

My father held it out.

“You should have this.”

I took it.

Then I tore it in half.

My father's eyes widened.

“Why?”

“Because I don't need proof that I was once his promised mate.”

I let the pieces fall into the wind.

“I know who I am now.”

A familiar voice came from behind us.

“Evelyn.”

Vivian.

She stood beneath the council building's stone archway.

She looked nothing like the girl from my memories.

Her confidence was gone.

Her clothes were plain.

Her once-perfect hair was tied carelessly behind her head.

She had spent years under elder supervision, stripped of the status she had once believed belonged to her forever.

She stared at me.

“So it's true.”

“You're alive.”

I shook my head.

“No.”

“Evelyn died.”

“I'm Elara.”

Vivian's lips trembled.

“Do you hate me?”

I remembered her smile in my bedroom.

Her hand holding the real moonstone bracelet.

Her whispered words about having everything in her hands.

Then I remembered something else.

I had spent too much of my first life thinking about her.

I wouldn't waste my second life doing the same.

“No.”

Vivian looked surprised.

“Why not?”

“Because I don't want to carry you with me anymore.”

She lowered her head.

“I was jealous of you.”

I said nothing.

“You had something I was terrified of losing.”

“My parents' bloodline.”

“The pack's future.”

“Lucien.”

She laughed bitterly.

“I thought if I took everything from you, I would finally feel secure.”

“It never worked.”

I looked at her quietly.

“That's because stealing someone else's place can never give you a place of your own.”

Vivian's eyes filled with tears.

“I know.”

I turned away.

“Then learn from it.”

“I already have.”

I walked past her.

Lucien watched me go.

He didn't follow.

My father didn't call me back.

Vivian didn't try to stop me.

For once, everyone understood the boundary I had drawn.

I reached the city gate just before sunset.

My wolf felt strangely peaceful.

The past was still inside me.

But it no longer owned me.

I looked back at Gray Harbor one final time.

Then I turned toward the mountains.

My new life was waiting there.

And this time, I intended to live every moment of it.