Chapter 2: The Easy One

The place was overflowing. There was so much junk that Vanessa's cat litter box sat perched right on my pillow.

A low buzz filled my skull. I couldn't stop myself from glancing back at the living room, at all that warmth and laughter.

Mom happened to look my way.

In that split second, I knew she saw it. My humiliation. My helplessness.

Her gaze skimmed right over me and slid away.

This wasn't the first time.

I used to have my own room.

Then Vanessa threw a crying fit about her closet being smaller than Derek's.

Mom and Dad couldn't take the screaming. They carved half my room into Vanessa's walk-in closet.

Derek heard about it. Didn't say a word. Just slammed the door so hard the walls shook and didn't come home for a full day.

After that, the other half of my room became his gaming den.

I got relocated to the basement. Freezing in winter, suffocating in summer.

Outside, the rain still hadn't stopped. A pool of water had collected on the windowsill. A numb realization washed over me. I had always been the extra piece. Something that could be shoved out at any moment.

First they shoved me out of my room.

Now they'd shoved me out of my last inch of living space in this house.

I turned back mechanically and shut the door. Blocked out the warmth and joy that didn't belong to me.

I didn't sleep that night. There was nowhere to sleep.

Early the next morning, my academic advisor called me to her office.

She said my early admission application to the out-of-state university had been approved. But there was a catch.

"There's a parental consent form that needs your parents' signatures. Have you talked to them about it?"

My hand, twisted in the hem of my shirt, tightened for a split second. Then I smiled. "It's fine. I'll figure it out."

Walking out of my advisor's office, I ran straight into Mom. Vanessa was glued to her side, eyes red and swollen from crying.

Right there in public, Vanessa clung to Mom's arm, sobbing and carrying on like no one else existed.

"Mom, I don't care. Derek and I are twins. He got first place on the varsity basketball team. I didn't win anything. What are people going to think?! It's not fair!"

"Why does he get an award and I don't?! You always favor him!"

That kind of intimacy, that easy affection. In the past, it would have made me burn with envy.

Now I just glanced at them, blank and distant, and tried to walk away fast.

Mom's hand shot out and locked around my wrist. When she spoke, it was an order. Plain and simple.

"Sweetie, look how heartbroken your sister is."

"Just win another award."

"I know you worked hard. But look at Vanessa. She's crying her eyes out."

"You're my easy one. Don't make things harder right now. Give her the award. That ends it."

My mind went white. I couldn't process what I was hearing. When I opened my mouth, my voice came out dry and ragged.

"Mom, for that competition, I—"

Mom cut me off, irritation sharp in her voice.

"I know studying for it was hard. But look at her. She's a mess. If you don't give it to her, do you want to watch this family fall apart?"

My eyes went wide.

The suppressed hurt and rage churned in my chest.

So peace in this family had to be built on sacrificing me.

What about me. What about me?!

But the madness broke the moment my hand brushed the consent form in my bag.

I heard myself speak. A voice so cold I barely recognized it.

"Fine. I'll give it to her. On one condition. Sign this form."

The words were barely out before Mom snatched the paper from my bag and scrawled her signature.

Then her voice turned warm again. Cooing. Soothing. She turned back to comfort Vanessa.

She didn't even glance at the bold print on the page that said Study Abroad.

Vanessa's tears vanished. As she walked past, she rammed her shoulder into mine on purpose.

She glanced back, mouth twisted in a pout.

"Should've just said yes in the first place. Made me cry for nothing."

Like she was entitled to complain. She had that confidence.

After all, the rule in this house had always been the same. Half of everything in it was supposed to have her name carved on it.

I didn't say a word. I clutched that document to my chest like it was the only thing keeping me moving forward.