Chapter 32: Knox Finally Understands

Knox asked to meet me three days later.

I almost refused.

Then I decided there were things I wanted to say while I could say them without anger controlling every word.

We met at a campus café.

Public.

Neutral.

Rowan didn't come inside.

He was across the street pretending not to watch.

His disguise consisted of sunglasses.

I texted him:

[You are terrible at being subtle.]

He replied:

[I'm extremely subtle.]

[You're six-three.]

[Tragic.]

I put my phone away as Knox arrived.

He looked different.

Not physically.

Something in his posture had changed.

Less arrogance.

More exhaustion.

He sat across from me.

"Thanks for coming."

"You said you needed to talk."

"Yeah."

He didn't immediately begin.

For once, Knox seemed to understand that words mattered.

Finally he placed his old gaming phone on the table.

"I deleted everything."

"What?"

"The old accounts. Screenshots. Photos. Messages."

I frowned.

"Why tell me?"

"Because keeping them felt wrong."

"They were your messages too."

"Not all of them."

He looked down.

"Some were things you sent because you trusted me."

That surprised me.

"Okay."

"I also reported every copy of your private photos I could find."

"You don't have to clean up the internet."

"I know."

"Then why?"

"Because I helped create the mess."

I studied him.

"Knox, if this is another strategy to get me back—"

"It's not."

He swallowed.

"I mean... I still regret losing you."

I almost interrupted.

He lifted a hand.

"But I'm finally understanding that regret doesn't mean I deserve another chance."

That was new.

He stared at his coffee.

"When I first saw you at Hollowcrest, I thought the universe was punishing me."

"For what?"

"For giving away the perfect girl."

I laughed without humor.

"Exactly."

He looked at me.

"That's the problem."

I waited.

"I still made it about what I lost."

His voice became quieter.

"I didn't look at you and think, I hurt her. I thought, I could've had her."

The honesty was brutal.

And correct.

"I chased you because suddenly other men wanted you. Because Rowan wanted you. Because you were beautiful enough that everyone could see your value."

My fingers tightened around the cup.

Knox noticed.

"I'm not saying that to hurt you."

"It does."

"I know."

He forced himself to continue.

"But I need to admit it. Otherwise every apology is just another lie."

For a moment, I saw the boy from the game.

Not the imaginary gentle boyfriend I had created in my head.

The real boy.

Flawed.

Shallow.

Young.

Capable of cruelty.

Maybe capable of becoming better.

But not for me.

"You know what hurt most?" I asked.

"The transfer?"

"Partly."

I leaned forward.

"You didn't just reject me. You decided I wasn't even worth an honest breakup."

His face tightened.

"You handed my trust to a stranger."

"I know."

"You let someone else read things I thought I was sending to you."

"I know."

"You turned me into an object because you didn't like my body."

His eyes lowered.

"I know."

"And then when you saw me thin, suddenly you wanted me again."

He closed his eyes.

"I know."

I breathed slowly.

"I don't hate you anymore."

His eyes opened.

Hope appeared for half a second.

I killed it gently.

"But I don't love you either."

The hope disappeared.

"I loved who I thought you were."

He nodded.

"I figured."

"And I'm not going to date you just because you're sorry now."

"I know."

"Stop saying you know."

A weak smile touched his mouth.

"Sorry."

Silence settled.

Then Knox said, "Rowan actually likes you."

I raised an eyebrow.

"Insightful."

"No. I mean before."

"Before what?"

"Before the airport."

My attention sharpened.

Knox rubbed the back of his neck.

"When I transferred the account, I thought he'd last two days."

"You knew it was Rowan?"

"Not his full identity at first. He used another gaming profile. I knew he had money and connections."

"Why did you give him the account?"

"Because he offered to take it."

His expression filled with shame.

"I thought it was funny."

My stomach tightened.

"He asked me what you liked. Favorite flowers. Food. Games."

"Red roses."

"Yeah."

"I thought he learned that from our messages."

"Some things."

Knox looked uncomfortable.

"But he kept asking questions I didn't know the answers to."

"Like?"

"How you slept when you were stressed. What helped your stomach pain. Whether you liked calls when you couldn't sleep."

I remembered those nights.

Rowan had learned me.

Not inherited me.

Knox continued.

"After about two weeks, I asked why he was putting so much effort into a girl he'd never met."

"What did he say?"

Knox looked toward the window.

Across the street, Rowan immediately pretended to inspect a tree.

I nearly laughed.

"He said, 'Because she notices when everyone else is hurting and never notices when she is.'"

My chest tightened.

Knox smiled bitterly.

"That's when I realized he wasn't playing."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I was an asshole."

"Accurate."

"And because by then I was chasing Elodie."

His expression changed.

"Who I also treated badly."

"Yes."

"I apologized."

"Good."

"She told me to go to hell."

"Also good."

He laughed.

Then became serious.

"Nessa, I don't expect forgiveness."

"I might forgive you eventually."

His eyes lifted.

"But forgiveness isn't reconciliation."

"I understand."

This time, when he said it, I believed him.

We stood.

At the door, he stopped me.

"One more thing."

"What?"

"My father found Grandfather's final journal."

My attention sharpened.

"About Marcus?"

"Partly."

Knox pulled a folded copy from his coat.

"There's a reference to something called Project Moon Crown."

I frowned.

"What is it?"

"He didn't know."

"Then why does it matter?"

"Because Marcus was funding it."

I opened the copy.

Edric Storm's handwriting was cramped and hurried.

Marcus seeks a controllable Lunaris bond. Not merely territory. Moon Crown appears designed to artificially reproduce mate amplification without consent.

My skin went cold.

"Artificially?"

Knox nodded.

"Grandfather thought Marcus wasn't trying to destroy Lunaris completely."

I looked at him.

"He was trying to capture one."

"Yes."

A memory flashed through my mind.

Aurelius telling Mom to run.

Bloodline registries.

Compatibility charts.

The attackers searching records.

Maybe the massacre hadn't only been about land.

Maybe Marcus had been hunting a specific kind of heir.

Knox's voice dropped.

"And Nessa?"

"What?"

"Grandfather wrote one more thing."

He turned the page.

A single sentence was underlined twice.

If Selene's child survived, she may be the intended subject.