Chapter 81: The Night Before the Wedding

The night before my wedding, I couldn't sleep. Not because I doubted Rowan. Because Lunaris had apparently forgotten how to behave. Someone was singing outside. Badly. Tessa had organized a "small gathering" that somehow included half the Pack. Rhea claimed it was an ancient pre-bonding vigil. It was not. I checked the archive myself. "You're abusing history." "History is flexible." "No, it isn't." "Then why do people argue about it?" I had no answer that would stop her, so I went upstairs.

My dress hung near the window. Ivory. Simple. Long sleeves made of light lace. No enormous train. No crystal crown. Mom had cried when I chose it. Then she cried when it arrived. Then she cried when alterations were finished. She was committed to the process. I touched the fabric. A strange memory surfaced. Seventeen-year-old me imagining meeting Knox. I had pictured what I would wear. Something tight enough to prove I was thin. Something that showed my waist. Something that made the year of hunger visible. The thought hurt now. Tomorrow's dress wasn't designed to prove anything. It simply felt like me.

Mom entered without knocking. "You awake?" "Obviously." She sat beside me. For a while, neither of us spoke. Then she handed me a small box. Inside was a silver hairpin shaped like willow leaves. "My mother wore it." "Grandma?" "At her bonding ceremony." I smiled. Willowmere. My first Pack. Before Lunaris. Before Rowan. Before everything. "Thank you." Mom's eyes filled. "Don't." "I'm not doing anything." "Your face is doing it." She laughed and wiped her eyes. Then her expression changed. "Nessa, can I ask something?" "Yes." "Are you happy?" The question was so simple it almost broke me. "Yes." "Not because you're supposed to be?" "No." "Not because he's your mate?" "No." I took her hand. "I'm happy." She nodded. "Good. That's all I wanted to know."

After she left, Dad appeared. Then Tessa. Then Rhea. Apparently privacy had been abolished. Dad gave me an old gaming token from when I was twelve. Tessa gave me a bracelet. Rhea gave me a copy of the original Lunaris marriage code. I stared at her. "This is a terrible gift." "Read the marked section." I did. An amendment written by Seraphina Arden decades ago: No bond, however sacred, shall extinguish the independent standing of either wolf before Pack law. My throat tightened. "Aunt Seraphina wrote this?" "Apparently." "Why didn't you show me before?" "Weddings require dramatic timing." I hugged her. She froze. Rhea was still bad at spontaneous affection. Then she hugged back.

At midnight, Rowan messaged. Awake? I replied: No. He sent: Same. We had agreed not to see each other after sunset. Not because of superstition. Because Tessa wanted one tradition and threatened violence. Rowan: Can I call? Me: Apparently that's cheating. Rowan: Who made these rules? Me: Tessa. Rowan: I am Supreme Alpha. Me: Not of Tessa. He sent a tragic wolf emoji. I laughed into my pillow.

Then he sent a voice note. I listened. "Nessa, I know we're supposed to save the meaningful words for tomorrow, so this isn't meaningful." Pause. "I just wanted to say I miss you even though you're approximately two hundred yards away, which is humiliating. Also Orion says marriage makes people boring. We need to prove him wrong." Another pause. "And if you change your mind tomorrow, tell me. I'll still love you. I mean that." I stopped breathing for a second. There it was. Even now. An exit. Not because he wanted me to leave. Because he wanted my yes to remain mine. I replied with my own voice note. "I'm not changing my mind. Go to sleep." Then, after a second: "I love you." His answer arrived immediately. "I love you too."

I finally went outside around one. The celebration had quieted. Lanterns hung through the cedar grounds. The ancient tree stood at the center. Tomorrow, hundreds of wolves would gather here. Tonight, it was only me. I placed my hand against the bark. Lunaris had once been a name I barely understood. Then an inheritance. Then a responsibility. Now home. My wolf stirred peacefully. No prophecy. No warning. Just warmth. I thought about all the people who had tried to tell me what my life meant. Knox had decided my weight made me undesirable. Helena Voss had decided my blood made me useful. Felix had decided my transformation made me scientifically important. Traditionalists had decided Rowan's mate should become Supreme Luna. Even people who loved me sometimes had expectations. Tomorrow, I would stand under this tree and answer for myself.

I returned to my room. Before sleeping, I opened the box containing the letters from seventeen-year-old me. I read only the first line. If you're reading this, you finally met him. I smiled. Yes. I met him. Not the him she meant. More importantly, I met myself beyond the version she thought she had to become. I closed the box. Tomorrow wasn't the ending of that girl's story. Marriage wasn't a prize for finally being pretty enough. It was simply another beginning I had chosen. For once, that thought made sleep easy.

Just before dawn, I woke once and heard Lunaris completely quiet. For a second, fear returned without an object. Then I recognized it as old habit—the belief that happiness became dangerous when it was too close. I placed my hand over the ring on my bedside table and reminded myself that tomorrow did not need to be guaranteed forever to be worth entering fully. I slept again.