Chapter 16: I Was Never the Problem

The following Saturday, I drove back to Boston.

I hadn't told Graham I was coming.

I didn't want him involved in the decision.

I only wanted to see Lily.

When I arrived outside the house, I didn't use the smart lock app.

I didn't have to.

I had already removed my access weeks ago.

I sent Sloane a message instead.

“I'm outside. If Lily is free, I'd like to see her.”

She replied less than a minute later.

“Come in.”

The front door opened before I reached it.

Lily ran down the hallway.

“Nora!”

She threw her arms around me so quickly that I nearly lost my balance.

I hugged her back.

For a few seconds, neither of us said anything.

Then she pulled away and looked at me seriously.

“Are you really not marrying Dad?”

I crouched so we were at eye level.

“No.”

Her eyes became glossy.

“Is it because of me?”

“No, Lily.”

I took her hands.

“None of this is your fault.”

She looked down.

“Dad said you got angry because of the wedding.”

I swallowed.

“Your dad and I wanted different things.”

“But you loved him.”

The question was so innocent that it hurt.

“I did.”

“Then why did you leave?”

I thought about the answer before giving it.

“Because loving someone doesn't mean you have to accept being treated badly.”

Lily was quiet.

Then she asked, “Did Dad treat you badly?”

I didn't want to put an adult burden on a child.

“Your dad made choices that hurt me. That's something he and I have to deal with.”

She nodded slowly.

Sloane stood near the kitchen doorway, watching us.

For the first time, I noticed she looked uncomfortable in the house she had once occupied so confidently.

Maybe the truth had changed things for her too.

Lily suddenly smiled.

“I made you something.”

She pulled a folded sheet of paper from behind her back.

It was a drawing.

Three figures stood beneath a bright yellow sun.

There was Lily in the middle, me on one side, and Sloane on the other.

I smiled despite myself.

“It's beautiful.”

“I wanted everyone to be together.”

I looked at the drawing for a long moment.

“Sometimes people can care about each other without living in the same house.”

She seemed to think about that.

Then she nodded.

“Like you?”

“Exactly.”

The afternoon passed quietly.

We baked cookies, watched an old movie, and played a board game Lily had loved since she was little.

When I finally stood to leave, she hugged me again.

“Will you visit again?”

I smiled.

“If you want me to.”

“I do.”

Outside, I found Graham waiting beside his car.

He looked older than I remembered.

“Thank you for coming,” he said.

I nodded.

“I came for Lily.”

His jaw tightened.

“I know.”

For a moment, neither of us spoke.

Then he said, “I never meant for things to end this way.”

I looked at him.

“Neither did I.”

“We could still fix this.”

I shook my head.

“No, Graham.”

His expression fell.

“You had four years to make me part of your life.”

I glanced back at the house.

“I wasn't asking for perfection. I was asking for a place.”

He looked away.

“You had one.”

“No,” I said quietly. “I had a guest room.”

He had no answer.

I walked back to my car.

This time, I didn't feel angry.

I didn't feel betrayed.

I simply felt finished.

As I drove away, I realized something important.

I had spent years wondering what I had done wrong.

The answer was nothing.

I had never been the problem.

I had simply been trying to belong somewhere that had already decided I didn't.